Today has been fairly horrible.
Not only do I have to start summer classes, which will be more work then I thought it would be, but also I just lost my best friend. And really one of my only real friends outside the family.
Don't get me wrong, I love my family sooo very much, and I thank y'all for being there for me.
But its just so hard to lose your best friend.
If its what is best for him, then it must be done. I just wish I knew that it was.
Oh how I wish I could just see what my future would look like, when I wasn't in the midst of this grief. I thought that I had gotten over most of it. I had become somewhat used to the idea over the semester. And then he brought up that we would be friends again, close friends it seemed. Able to talk and hang out sometimes. But now. He said "we will say goodbye indefinitely".
And so he did. He said "bye" and just walked out of my house and out of my life.
It really feels like someone just stabbed me in the heart. Decided to pull it out, then put it back in and start the process over again.
I know that God has what is best for us (Jeremiah 29:11) . He will work all things for our good (Romans 8:28) . I just don't understand why it has to been this painful. And is this really what is best?
Oh Lord, help me to understand. Please please, help me to understand. And even if I don't. Help me to continue to trust and love You.
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In the future, you will probably look back on this and think... Today was great. It hurt, but it helped you start the process of letting go of someone, who's probably not supposed to be in your life.
ReplyDeleteI look back on the days that were really hard in my past, and they were actually some of the best days. They were some of the most painful days, but they were good. God promises that if you trust Him and follow Him, He will never leave you or forsake you, He will give you a hope and a future. You can't see it, but this is Him fulfilling that promise.