Wednesday, November 30, 2011

words words words

After writing that last post two things happened; one I instantly felt relieved, as if I had gotten something off my mind, off my chest, out into the open. Two, I felt selfish, as if crying out for attention.
This was not my purpose, but still may seem to be the result of such a blog. For anyone who reads my blog, please do not take the previous blog to be a plea for compliments. That is not what I am, far from it actually. I tend to respond negatively to compliments.
Rather its a baring of my feelings. Yes it seems silly to me to write out such personal things to such a public domain. However, I know relatively few people actually read this, and of those who do y'all would probably just ask me if you had any major concerns.
Please do not think I am depressed, I am not, thanks be to my glorious loving heavenly Father.
I do have moments of sadness, and confusion. Things I am trying to figure out.
Maybe I am just dramatic in my writing...though when I look back on things they accurately reflect the way I felt/feel. Maybe my emotions about the topic are just too strong. This I do not know.
Anyways, I am just writing this because I felt like I needed to write an explanation or maybe just write in general. I have this urge to just put my thoughts onto the screen right now. I can't really explain it. But oh well, not all things in this life can be explain.
Its really late and I should be sleeping, but I don't want to.
I love sleep, but am almost afraid of sleeping right now. It doesn't make sense. I just feel apprehensive. I should try anyways.

OK.

Dear Lord, as I try to sleep tonight, give me Your peace. Help my thoughts to be glorifying to You. May my focus be on Your glory and love.
With love, to Love, Amen.

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