value?

A question keeps going through my head and I don't know the answer to it.
This question was sparked by a conversation I had with one of my friends.
This question has actually shifted slightly from one that is very similar to it. The first question was "Do you consider yourself valuable?", which has now shifted to "why don't you consider yourself valuable?"

Why don't I?
The Lord of the entire universe says He loves me, has given me value, says I am worth His life. If that isn't value, then nothing is.
Yet these are truths I know, but they don't sink in.
Can I not accept that I am so loved?

I know what the Lord says about me. He delights in me (Zephaniah 3:17). He loves me enough to send His son to live and die for me. For me.

Yet, I feel worthless. I honestly feel like I am not worth the time of day to anyone. I often feel that if I were not here then it really would not make a difference in anyone's life.
People have told me differently, but I don't see what they are talking about.
I do not think I have any skills or gifts that really benefit people.
I want to, I desire to care and love and really be able to help others. I want to do things that make a difference, but I feel incapable.
I lack the gifts of so many around me. I am not brave, or creative, or of wise counsel, or generous, or intellect.
This is one of the reasons why I've decided to carry on with my no dating in college. It isn't so much that I am in college, but that I am too much of an emotional wreck, too confused and lacking in confidence to want to put a guy (or well man) through that crazy roller coaster. It simply would not be fair, nor would it be healthy or good.

I sit here with tears in my eyes, because I don't want people to read this and then just say "oh, but you are so great at this or that". That's not what I want. I want to know that God can use me. I believe He can use anyone...but myself. I feel as though I possess nothing in which can further God's kingdom.

Oh I hate that I believe the lies of Satan. God can use me. I know He can. I want Him to. Why do I despair? Why is my soul downcast? Why do I have such little faith?

I can think of plenty of days in which I greatly dislike myself, but very few in which I see myself as having any value.
Why can't I find value when looking at myself. I see the value of others. Do I not have value as well?

Dear Lord, help me to not focus on myself. On my shortcomings, lack of gifts. OH Lord, help me. Help me to be satisfied in You. For this life is not about me, it's about Your glory and love. Why am I so frustrated within myself. Redirect my focus, teach me Your ways, to see life through Your eyes. Give me the grace to rejoice in the gifts of others without sadness for the lack of being able to see mine. Christ Jesus, You are good, great, gracious and glorious. In You is all satisfaction. Teach this to my heart.
with love, to Love, in Your glorious name, Amen.