The Hardest part...

Is surprisingly not the missing him, though there is a good bit of that still, but rather how distressed he looks whenever I am around.

The first time I have seen him smile in over 3 weeks was when he got a text message today, and was shaking his head and smiling about it as he replied. Other than that, I have not seen him look happy. I have seen him look miserable. I hate that I am part of the cause of that. I know its not just me, because that would just be ridiculous.
If it were just me, I think he would behave much like I do, since he cannot possibly miss our friendship more than I do. The same amount, I do believe so. But not more by any means, because I miss, and would be willing to be just his friend.
To be honest that's only the extent that I want. I simply want to be friends. I miss his friendship and just being able to laugh and talk with him.
Honestly I know I am not ready for any other kind of relationship right now. I have no idea what the future will hold, but I know God has a plan for it. (Jeremiah 29:11).

Dear Father, I know You have what is best in store for both him and me, I simply pray that You will help us both hold on to Your joy in everyday things. Lord, I pray that You help him learn to smile around me again, or something like that. Help me to focus on You, Your love, Your plans, Your purpose. Empty me of myself and help me only to cling to You. I know I haven't come anywhere near that Lord, I pray that You help me.
Please give both of us Your joy.
Make him happy again.
Your plans are greater.
To Love, with love, amen.