Sunday, April 15, 2012

The things friends do.

There is something seriously wrong with having to encourage the guy you like to ask another girl out. Like really wrong with that. But as a friend, they come to you nervous, you know it is inevitable that this will happen and yet it hurts to say "its going to be alright".
Because honestly in some ways you would be happy if it didn't work out...but then that is extremely selfish. You know that you will be happy for him if the girl says yes, to see that smile spread across his face. Yet a small part will be sad that you aren't the reason for that smile.
Its funny, boys say girls don't understand what it is like to be rejected, when in all honesty we are rejected often...only its more drawn out and possibly more painful. We can't just ask and see, we have to wait, and wait, and then in a lot of situations, get rejected. Our rejection isn't direct, that is true. Rather we get rejected by not getting picked. That's just the way it works.
And well, its been a while since I've felt rejection. Then again, its been a while since I've let myself like someone who hasn't shown they liked me first...its been about 7 years? Something like that.
So those were childhood crushes, with those who barely knew I existed. This is something a little deeper and more personal, yet just as unintentional as the others were. *Sigh* Things like this happen. And well, we heal. I'll heal. And so, I say those word of encouragement, because honestly, I do want to see him happy...and if she is the girl to make him happy, then so be it. I will continue being the friend (which was going to happen either way), and I will try to calm his fears. Because honestly, why wouldn't she date him?

Well, there it is.

Lord, I pray that You teach me to run to Your arms with these feelings of rejection. I pray that You remind me that You are full of love, You do not turn me away, You call me beloved, wanted...You smile at me, delight over me. Your love is more than enough. Teach me satisfaction in You. I love You, Lord, grow that love.
With love, to Love, amen.

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