A light that barely flickers.

I can't sleep.
I really want to though.

I feel like crying.
I don't like who I am.

Tonight at breakaway the speaker told a story of a boy who accepted Christ at the age of 8, and lived his life fully for God until his death at the age of 15. How after his death, because of the way he lived his life, people continued to come to Christ.

It makes me stop and think, where is my passion?
Can anyone even see that I love Christ?
Am I being a light to the world?
Am I being salt?

If not, why not.
Am I bringing or pointing people to the savior?
What areas am I not giving over to God and why am I not doing so?

I feel so lost and confused. I don't want to live my life for myself, but I don't know what I am doing, or what He wants to do through me.

God, help me. I want to live for You, I am so lost as to how. Break my heart for You. Teach me to follow You, to take up my cross daily.
Help me Lord, please please help me.
With love, to Love.
Amen